for friends like this

Denise: you know you should go get the cervical cancer vaccine. must get before first sexual encounter. better go get.

ADELINE YEO: oh. only for when sexually active right?
D: yes.
ADELINE YEO: LIKE THAT YOU DON'T HAVE TO GET WHAT.



For times like this,
Denise (gingerly shifting sprained foot onto a cushion while looking sadly at badly grazed knee)
ADELINE YEO: you're better off playing paintball. also never like that.


Denise (taking a breath after hobbling out of the shop)
ADELINE YEO (offering an arm): do you need help?!
Denise: it's okay. can.
ADELINE YEO: you see if you still can when I stomp on your ankle.


In a sad text message,
Denise: rose, i sprained my foot real bad. so sad.
Rose: HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA
HHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Denise: eh. fuck i sprained my foot and it's all swollen.
Has: GOOD.


Icing on the smushed cake,
The MOOSE pointing in panic and horror at my perfectly intact, NORMAL knee and yelling, "OH DEAR WHAT HAPPENED?!!!"