erm, hello

I don’t think I really believe in a god.

It seems like saying a prayer is so much like defeat. It irritates me when I am being told to pray. “Why don’t you pray? HE will help you.”

Okay. So I return home, dutifully kneel at the foot of my bed and pray devotedly.

I’ve been praying for 19 years now and erm, it ain’t helping.

And besides, are you asking me to sit and home and leave everything up to God? Talk to him and he’ll answer my prayers, help me and elevate all my suffering.

I’ve been knocking on his door for years and there hasn’t been a reply.

I think that had I decide to get off my sore and bruised knees earlier, situations would have been much improved.

And what irks me the most is when a true believer tells me that whatever I’m going through is an effort on God’s part to make me stronger. Hello, stronger for what? For when?

God’s plan? I think he needs a draftsman, it’s a little screwed, no?

Besides, I’m thinking that God is merely a sliver of imagination of early men. You see, the only reason why Jesus looks like a striking young man and God is the FATHER is because early MAN only had themselves to model a “GOD” after.

It’s a principle of “You see, you make”.

Hindu gods are a merger of man and beast, because that’s what they see and that’s what they can model their god after. So really. I’m thinking he/she/it doesn’t exist.

And I believe Darwin, so sue me Jesus. Oh, sorry, you don’t exist.